So I finally got my new laptop! Its a Toshiba Notebook with 2 gb RAM and 250GB HDD. It even has a wireless card in it so I can use it anywhere there's a wireless modem (which we are getting for our house!!!). First thing I did was load a bunch of music on it. I'm impressed and my computering has become much more enjoyable. All the keys work, it doesn't take an hour to load a page, and its ALL MINE!!!!

But on an unhappier note, I've been awefully depressed lately for a whole shitload of reasons which I won't go into. My smoking has increased from two or three butts a week to almost a whole pack in one day, my alcoholism is getting worse, I'm having terrible mood swings, and broke up with my boyfriend for almost no reason .at all. I cry easily, I don't sleep, my eatings messed up, I don't know. I don't know how much more I can take of all this. Living on Earth is way too overwhelming. I wish i knew what it was that I was supposed to do. I never really feel happy anymore. I guess this is what life is all about... life is good? bull shit